ideas, objects and LIFE -- self forgiveness

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value objects over life.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see our collective disregard of life.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that without the value, that is life, there is nothing else.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the word and meaning of value only exist from the lips of life.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss the obvious needs of life and fix myself in an oblivious state.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value an idea in my head.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to move from the only value, that is life.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the value that i give an idea, in my head, is not real.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that, that which is real is here for all to see. it is not confined to my head like the value i give to ideas.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get swept away in the part and miss the whole.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the flag is a piece of fabric made from materials grown from the earth. that is it.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a sense of entitlement and superiority to the flag. within this i disrespect life that is not held to any sense of entitlement, when we are ALL here.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see how the idea of 'the flag' is used as a method of separation.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach myself mentally to a certain piece of fabric with certain colors or shapes on it.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold the flag as superior to life.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the respect that i give to the idea of importance in a piece of fabric is misplaced.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to self honestly define important.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have a real self honest look at what it is i place value in.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to self honestly define necessity.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to work on self honesty in all moments.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that because i was born on a certain part of the planet that i am worthy of a dignified life.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that because some are born on certain parts of the planet that they are less worthy of the same dignified life i would want for myself.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think there is no way that all people can have the same dignified life that i would want for myself.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that we are separated by pieces of fabric here on this planet.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach myself mentally to a certain piece of land as my "home land". within this i disregard the fact that all land is connected as home on this one planet.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create mental barriers between myself and other beings.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my self expression.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to watch a moment pass by.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself think in my head instead of express within the physical with my mouth. thinking is not self expressive. its self deceptive. as i think in my head i am not here in the present fully aware and a full participant.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that it isnt a thought that produces but physical movement within participation here. in the physical. u cannot think oneness and equality into existence. it must be lived and expressed and not held back.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the importance of developing self trust to be able to move through any and all given moments with clarity.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that even if i may fall, i still must walk.

i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust myself to express myself.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expressing myself.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anger. towards the disregard of life, but it was anger. from within anger as a starting point comes nothing good. period. self movement to stand up to the disregard of life must be from a place of self trust, stability and clarity. anger brings none of those things.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear friction. fear creating friction within a disagreement. fear of being unwilling to move self within the unwillingness of another to see what i am trying to express.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from another. like i have not displaying the same disregard towards life.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing an hesitant nature within myself when it comes to "what needs to be done".

i commit myself to not hold back my self expression.

i commit myself to move myself within all moments.

i commit myself to breathe when i sense myself existing as back chat and bring myself back to real. to here in the physical.

i commit myself to develop patience within my movement. stability within expression comes with patience.

i commit myself to not fear the destruction of an idea. as an idea, is not real.

i commit myself to stand up for life.

ideas, objects and LIFE

i had an interesting experience of realization and perspective in relation to our disregard of life in favor of displaying regard for objects or ideas as superior.

**and i want to say that we cannot be afraid to "call a spade a spade." meaning to see what is and say what is without fear of acknowledgment or accountability. we are so afraid to see what we have done. what we do. such shame involved that we cannot even speak about what we are clearly doing here. shame gets us nowhere but within a pit of self pity. "self pity, people, should never be supported. ever." - bp **

i was hanging out with a friend of mine. i was on my computer doing something really quick so he was reading articles on his phone. he turns to me and says...

"can u believe there is this housing community and they wont let this guy fly the american flag?!!"

there was so much disgust and sadness and disbelief in his eyes and tone. for the flag. the idea of the flag. the genuine care that he believed he was displaying for the value of a piece of cloth, scared me a bit. it scared me because this is the type of care that is not displayed towards life. at all. the pain in his mind that he was creating due to the idea he holds about the american flag and that idea being destroyed by people not wanting to support the idea he holds seemed so useless as it dripped off his words of sadness for the idea of the flag. we put such energy towards the uplifting of so many ideas and objects...this idea, object -the respect of the bible, the flag, the koran, the "holy land", the church, the priest, the idea of god- but not towards the betterment of life in general. not towards the respect of life in general. we will initiate a discussion about supporting ideas about pieces of fabric but when switching our support from ideas to life is considered discussing its seen as too much to tackle...

this also lead to an interesting experience of realization and perspective in relation to my learning to move myself in all moments with clarity. move myself in all ways, always. because in the moment that he asked me this question i was already thinking "what the fuck?" "is he seriously showing favor to the idea of value in a flag with the gusto that is required to realize the only thing of value here as LIFE?!" "fuck! that statement really shows the mental attachment we have to our corners of the earth." "how the hell can we be so insulted that people wont let a man fly a piece of cloth but we DONT GIVE A SHIT that all people are not allowed to eat here?"...all this self back chat just lead to me shaking my head in disgust and disbelief of the disregard. not seeing that in this i took the disregard i was spotting in another and made it my own within disregarding the opportunity to move myself to speak and express myself in the physical..within disregarding the assistance that is needed within this other being to see what is being missed (not to say that i would have been able to assist him in seeing anything, but the need for assistance was disregarded for whatever reason)...within the disregard of this being as equal to myself as i had/have accepted and allowed myself to be whether in the past or currently where i desired to show regard to my ideas over what is here as life. instead i rested in the mind. which is not real. which is why my friend has no clue of the reality of me in the moment of him asking me what he asked me. he only knows he got a scoff, a head shake, a look of annoyance and was disregarded by a person...

self forgiveness to come on this...