the physical

the physical is very supportive if one is paying attention and not trying to make factual things out of fictional thoughts- but remaining here and present within movement.


for example...

if one is eating and in the mind thinking about all kinds of shit ("do i look weird eating this way?" "maybe i should go on a diet.." "my car and job really suk." "i wonder if that guy will ask me out.." etc) then one is not here with the food and the fork and the body and the chair and the table in the physical. one is in the mind and the mind is not HERE physically present with the food and the fork and the body and the chair and the table. can one touch a thought? no. thoughts are not physically here. and the physical is always here and moving without malice or judgment or goodness or hurtfulness or morbidness or a rosey outlook. its simply here. so- if one is eating and in the mind one may bite their tongue. this happens and we get pissed. pissed at the tongue, at the food. we say "damn! I bit my tongue!" but yet we fail to realise that the physical is supporting us to realise that we were not physically HERE to stop OUR OWN teeth from biting OUR OWN tongue.

if one is driving a car and in the mind thinking all kinds of shit ( "these drivers are all such bad drivers. im a good driver." "damn if i dont hurry im going to be late then i might get fired and i NEED that money!" "i hope no one doesnt hit me.." "i wonder what everyone is going to be doing this weekend? maybe there is a party going on. i need a drink." "my car is so ugly. i need to get a brand new car like that person over there.." "damn i wish i had more money to get..." etc...) then one is not there with the car and the wheel and the road and the people in the physical. even singing and being SO into "your song" creating emotionality and bringing up memories regarding said song is not the practical way that one should drive. it is very important to be HERE while driving, while doing anything actually but in this example while driving. it takes a split second of driving while in the mind to miss a needless incident coming ones way. and this happens so fucking often that it really saddens me that we dont individually/collectively take notice to this bullshit and pay attention and be present while fucking driving. not being HERE is the cause of most accidents and deaths on the roadway as well as deaths for animals(which is needless because the road does NOT belong to us only. it belongs to ALL equally. even animals that simply need to pass). wether that 'not being here' is attributed to tons of thoughts going through ones head, being fucking drunk/tipsy (i cannot count how many of the people that i know drive after they have been drinking even though we KNOW KNOW KNOW that self is not present when alcohol is involved and that this causes many accidents and deaths. where is care?), being fearful of others on the road or speeding/rushing and disregarding others on the road. and then when an accident occurs everyone is pissed off and we look for one person to blame. we dont collectively teach and advocate practical ways of being a human being. so everything that comes after that bullshit starting point (driving, playing, working, school systems, the law, our idea of giving, our idea of helping, birthing human beings, our hospital system..etc) has the potential to manifest into bullshit as well. as shown in the state of the world currently.

if one is walking and in the mind, not HERE in the physical, one might trip and fall and break/scrap/injure a part of ones physical body. THAT is the physical trying to let one know, "hey, u were not here when this what about to happen to us. so if u are not HERE to direct u/us, where ever u are (in the mind) is directing u/us". then we get pissed at "luck" saying oh i just have such "bad luck". we never want to see ourselves within the bullshit. its always some other reason why this or that has happened. its never because we accepted and allowed it to happen. which is, in actuality, the ONLY reason anything happens in this world. by our individual/collective acceptance and allowance.

i have gotten into car accidents, hurt other people in various ways, *slit the tendons in my hand for which i now type with 9 fingers only, walked into walls or doors, stubbed my toe, dropped and broken things, hurt animals, wasted food, missed appointments, missed opportunities to help others, missed opportunities to change the world needlessly -all because i was not paying attention. being in the mind instead of being HERE and present within consideration of all (things and people) in my actions.
what about u?
consider all the things that have gone on/do go on in the world because we dont pay attention to the whole in relation to the things that we do. wars, rapes, murders, slavery (historical and modern day), killing off of animals, ruining portions of the earth in which we ALL reside on, placing value in money instead of where value belongs -in life-, starvation, disregard of life...

eating, driving and walking are just three of the things that if done while in the mind manifest bullshit in the world. consider the fact that we have been doing EVERYTHING from the starting point of the mind (with a self interested chaser..) since the beginning of time. all the while we completely miss that being physically HERE is key to stopping all the "whoops" and "oops" and bullshit in the world that we "dont know" how or why it continues to happens.

the mind/thoughts cannot be trusted. only the physical, what is HERE and verifiable and touchable, can be trusted. the mind says one must survive and strive to be the happiest one can be in this world. the physical proves that NONE survive ultimately. we all die. that is assured. that is verifiable and touchable. yet we all carry on trying to attain this mental idea of "surviving". like we can. the physical also proves that there is plenty here for all to live a dignified and happy life if one thinks of ALL in relation to self and do what is best for ALL -which includes self-.

attention is the only bill that is free to pay. but we, as a society, push it aside so very often...

touchdown jesus

there is a church not too far from my house. in 2004 the church spent $250,000 to build this 60 foot statue of jesus made out of fiberglass and foam in which they insured for about twice that amount by adding in the cost for time that was DONATED by artist to the project of building this big ass jesus. this church has become "famous" because of this big ass jesus they have. people come from all over the world to get a look at this big ass jesus and sit through a sermon in the church next to the big ass jesus.



last year there was a lightning storm here in my city. the right hand of the jesus statue was struck by the lightning and the big ass jesus quickly burned to the ground causing $700,000 in damages to the area.



considering the beLIEfs of many christians one would think after the right hand of god was struck by lightning that religious people would take this as a sign. maybe that god would not be on board with spending $250,000 on a big ass statue of jesus when there are countless other practical uses for money.
lets see -- there is starvation world wide, people are dying of diseases that have cures because of the value placed in money instead of life, all people do not have access to clean water, all people do not have access to shelter and the current system accepts and allows this. so if we accept and allow the current system, we accept and allow and give permission for these things to be. for a group of people that say the core message they operate from is 'love they neighbor as thy self', supporting a complete and utter deletion of this accepted and allowed system of abuse and an implementation of a system that supports life would be step one in actually living the message of 'love they neighbor as thy self'.

BUT NO! first thought was to rebuild the big ass jesus. and this new big ass jesus is planned to be even bigger than the last big ass jesus. the church is planning to spend between $300,000 and $700,000 on this new big ass jesus. this new big ass jesus will be made of non flammable material and also come equipt with a lightning suppression system. take that god! try and burn this one down..

here comes PETA to add manipulation to the mix. but this time they arent attempting to use sex to sell veganism. this time, its god. PETA offered to fund the rebuild of touchdown jesus under the CONdition that the church place the words 'blessed are the merciful. go vegan' clearly visible on the new big ass jesus. darlene bishop, a co-pastor at the church, said in response to the offer, "we're not interested. we raise cattle. we will never build a statue with the stipulation that we would have to advertise for PETA."

many are protesting the rebuild. the leadership from the church says that the statue was a symbol, not for worship. "its such a monument. its like, people know monroe by the statue of jesus. its important that we rebuild."- darlene bishop. there are many question to ask here. why, the fuck, is a $700,000 symbol needed at all? do we want this symbol to display superiority to other churches and get attention? are there other practical useful things that can be done with this $700,000? why are we all not taking steps to make big changes but settle within small changes that barely have an impact on the totality of the world? is the goal to make an impact, or make a big ass jesus? reality is being ignored here. which is actually very common within people in general. people are so caught up within their beLIEfs systems and 'my world's that the whole of this planet that we all live on is being disregarded and thoroughly abused.

the system WE accept and allow is one that accepts and allows the attrocities in this world to continue. lies, manipulation and the stepping on of others are all pre requisites within the current system. it is undeniable, the fuckedupness of this system if looked at with self honesty. only takes for each one of us to give a fuck about us as a WHOLE and do what is neccessary for ALL of us to live a life of dignity and respect. this is why i support an equal money system. a system that values life, always. not profit, ever. in an equal money system the ideas that promote the seperation of us as a WHOLE ( religion, competition, class, ideas of superiority/inferiority, the polarized existance, etc ) will be addressed and eradicated. as they do not support the WHOLE but only the mind of the part. that is why we currently sit and what others die of starvation. because our part feels comfy and fed. so we dont really worry about what the whole is going through. this self seperation it the cause of all issues in our world. people not seeing themselves in and as another. this is unacceptable for our oneness is present in fact.

investigate the equal money system. a system of 100% change. a change in our collective mentality and our collective world. www.equalmoney.org

self forgiveness

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel wronged.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel right.
i forgive mysefl for not accepting and allowing myself to see me in every situation.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see me in every moment.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see me in every word spoken from anothers lips.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from another.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing within myself judgements of racist peoople.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that all is learned.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that blame is useless.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that all are to "blame".
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the emotions of a victim.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that i am not only the victim, but the abuser in turn.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from mason and how they act.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that masons are simply another group of people existing in a mind fuck of superiority.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see myself within the masons.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to keep in mind that all are in processs wether they know it or not.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the process of another.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my own process.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that my ex will not change.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that in thinking my exd will not change is actually me thinking i will not change.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see all sides one moment, but only mine another.
i forgive myself fot not accepting and allowing consistancy within myself.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the process of others.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own process.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to change another.
i forgive myself for not accpeting and allowing myself to see the desire to change another is the desire to change myself.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that the desire to do something doesnt get something done.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that to get something done, i must simply DO it.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that hoping and desiring is not movement.
i forgive myself for nto accepting and allowing myself to see that hope doesnt get something done.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that hoping something will happen or hoping something will change is the same as believe in miracles.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see that magic things dont just happen.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use hope and wishes to fix how people relate to one another.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put myself though the same shit over and over.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see what i was trying to show myself.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the personality of 'tree. the girl who doesnt do relationships' 'tree. the black girl who likes white boys' 'tree. the girl know it all''tree. the girl u cant tell nothing to' 'tree. little mrs. defensive' 'tree. little mrs. cantbewrong' 'tree. mrs. fix it' 'tree. the rebel girl' 'tree. goes against the grain'.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create these other people to which i could hop into the persona of.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say my ex did "this" to me or "that" to me. not realising in every moment consistantly that i am the controller of that which i experience within me.
i forgive myself fot accepting and allowing myself to blame my ex.
i forgive myelf for not accepting and allowing myself to see that in shooting blame to my ex, it is actually me who i blame.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myelf to see in every moment consistantly that what i see in others, what i view of the world are all reflections of me.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see in every moment that all i see in another, experience from another is that which i see and experience from me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow someone to use my process to hurt me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of being seen as insane.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing fear of being called insane.
i forgive myself for accpeting and allowing fear of being an outcast. no seeing that i already was an outcast. that we are all outcast. sitting on the outside of real life.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see in every moment consistantly that since i have realised my process i have made changes that matter to the world as a whole.
i forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see in every moment consistantly that i am the change. so change will not come from anywhere but right here.


do not wait for forgiveness. give it to urself. move the fuck on.