roscoe, pets and george

walking downstairs this morning i noticed a ladybug at the top of the stairs. it wasnt moving so i went to pick it up on this piece of plastic and check it out. he started moving so i knew he was alive and i went to take him out the front door. on the way to the front door i noticed he was having trouble moving. i got outside the door and i went to put it in the bush but, well i just didnt lol. i brought him back in and told my sister i thought its legs were fucked up cause it was having trouble walking. i walked upstairs with it then walked downstairs and out the door again then back inside. i told my sister i was going to do some research on ladybugs before i put it outside. so i came in and placed it on my aloe plant and went online. i found out that there are over 5000 different species of ladybug and 400 here in north america. they are omnivores which mean they can eat asphids (other bugs found on plants) or damp rasins :). i read, to give it water one should we a paper towel to damp but not dripping so the ladybug can drink from it. so i immediately went to do that. i placed the small starter piece of paper towel near him on my aloe plant. he was already touching it when i came back to check on him. i moved it a little bit away to see if he was actually drinking from it and he promptly moved back to where he was touching it. so i realised he WAS drinking from it. they live 1-3 years depending on the conditions. the male and female ladybugs both have spots and u cant really tell the sex visually unless u compare tons of ladybugs because females are usually larger. my sister heard somewhere that all females are spotless so instead of resting in what was heard we looked it up. this was a 16 spotted beetle. ladybugs are sometimes kept during the winter and released in the spring time. its best to release a ladybug u find inside during months when the weather is warm so it has time to find a place to hibernate for the winter. yes! ladybugs hibernate like bears. and since its cold out right now and could snow any day i realised this ladybug probably wont find a place to get snug so i decided to have it as a guest and named him roscoe :). just a name that came to me. i checked to make sure i wasnt connecting him to any other past memories or anything and saw clarity. so, roscoe is here for as long as he is here. the plan is to keep him until the spring and then let him go. i am not sure if hes a boy or girl but ladybugs wont lay eggs if they are hibernating inside a home. even if they did, he is still welcome here.


























i needed to go to the pet store to pick up some things. i have three pets right now ( or they have me :)..four in u include roscoe. ganja is my snake. shes a ball python. i have had ganja for about 5 or 6 years now. she belonged to a friend of mine who bought her when she was really small. i would go see her at his place or hed bring her when he came to visit but the land lady at his place did not want them to have a snake. so he asked if i wanted her. i did! i was really into snakes for some reason and i really liked/thought it was kinda cool that i was totally afraid of birds (at that time) but loved snakes. fucking silliness... so i got ganja. at the pet store i got ganja mice. two large. there were some mice mommas in there nursing their tiny little hairless mice babies. i asked the guy who was helping me,nick, when do they take the mice away from the mother to be sold as feeders. he said they actually sell them now. i said, really? i was kinda sad about it. ya know, babies being ripped away from the parents so young. i mean, fuck these little mice babies couldnt even walk. nick says, well what are u feeding? i said a ball python snake. he says well consider that small snakes, baby snakes, have to eat too. i was like, damn, ur right about that. its all about context. it is NOT the same as us ripping baby elephants from their parents to abuse them and make them do stupid ass tricks for our amusement. and one must be careful to not create ideas in which to refer to later. careful that realisations do not become twisted ideas and future assumptions. that is not living. that is not here. that is the mind creating and directing. i realised that i had saw the video on elephants and ringling brothers and actually created this idea about babies and parents and forgot about practicality and oneness within it all as the bottom line. so that was cool to realise.


























chaka is my dog. my buddy. my pal :). shes so cool. i got her when i was breaking up with my ex. he never wanted me to have a dog and i knew things were fucked and fucking us both and i was about to leave anyway (which i did) so i got chaka :). i found her online on a site similar to craigslist. a woman two hours away had chaka and her brother. i drove to get her, got into a hit and run car accident, car broken down on the way back ( my boyfriend at the times car). but chaka and i were fine. and we were together. at the pet store i got a chew toy for chaka. a small toy that looks like a tire that you can place peanut butter into. she digs it.


hellboy is my beta fish. my sister was in town for a couple months and brought him over from my aunts place. my aunt got it for my cousins but they had no interest in it. it had all the componets with it: a small plastic "fish tank", a net, food, plants (fake ones).. all of which he did not seem to enjoy at all. he was trying to swim around but putting one fake plant in there took up so much room. i asked my sister if she didnt mind me taking him when i moved out. my brother named him 'cherry g' when he first came but i saw him as and named him hellboy for his bright colors. my sister said she didnt mind if i took him so i am. she was looking at the fish tanks when i was getting mice and called me over mentioning it may be cool to get hellboy a live plant for his tank and also said that i could use one of the old vases in the kitchen to give him more room. so i chose the red melon plant. the color of the center leave resembled hellboys color.

























we walked down the isle looking at all the fish. i would sometimes say "hello fish" and tap on the glass. we were talking a couple of days ago about the echo through the water of a fish tank if u tap on it but we didnt have a clear answer. one of the guys was filling a tank and i asked him if the fish hear a loud echo when we tap on the glass. he said yes they do and its actually very loud and uncomfortable for the fish. that the sound travels in the water and fucks with the fish. in not a cool way at all. i asked him, why do we not talk about this? he said, well u didnt ask me. -- and i want to mention that for a split second (really a split second) i got a little pissy. i thought " damn that was a pissy ass response." but i quickly got the fuck out of my head and back there in the isle with him and realised his answer wasnt pissy at all. it was actual. i asked him why we didnt talk about this and many people assume we means u and me only. so thats the response he gave. we (he and i) didnt talk about it before because i did not ask him. so when i realised that i knew that if i put a bit of emphasis on the WE he would broaden the part to the whole. -- i said, no, why dont WE talk about this. he said, u know what i am not sure. and he said how he thinks that is the problem with society. we dont talk or want to talk about many things. i agreed of course. we talked about people limiting themselves and not being able to see themselves in another. he said he has kids and they are the reason he wants to be more open and honest because.. and he was having trouble getting it out. so i said, this is not the world u want reflected in ur childrens eyes. he says exactly. we talked for a while in the isle, he my sister and i. and its funny to watch the physical. its so fucking supportive for self awareness and being HERE. because when i first started talking to him he wasnt mean at all but his body was really stiff. and it showed. as we talked his muscles loosened up and he was just there with us. his name is george. he is the manager at the pet store. cool guy. shook my hand and asked if we'd come in to chat again. which i totally will.