"it may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. we are like eggs at present. and you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. we must be hatched or go bad. " -c.s. lewis

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

the illusion and the reality

in our world, currently, we are taught to value the illusion. we prefer the lie over the truth. we prefer to view the part and disregard the whole. we look at the truth with fear and an unfamiliar eye. its really fucking sick when really looking at what this means within our everyday world. when we look at how this value we give to the illusion over reality actually manifest itself.
lets look at giving to charity for example. the starting point for people who give to charity is wanting to help. yes. but lets look at the WHOLE of it. not just that very small part in which to look at. people want to help but our current defintion of helping is within a self accepted limited definiton. we currently help within conditions and limitations. that is not real help. so we want to help but the definiton of help we are currently operating from, well sucks. we see that there is a huge issue, take starvation for example, and we want to help with that issue. instead of coming up with a solution to irradicate the issue we settke for feeding a village. in reality, that does nothing for the reasons starvation exist. that does nothing for the reasons we as beings think it is ok to sit and watch another die. that does nothing for the reasons familys are not able to eat. it simply feeds a village once that will continue to need charity to be fed because the root of the issue was never looked at. charity is a slick little fucking business. the main illusion about charity is the illusion that we are helping another. charity is actually very self interested when all the points of giving and helping and paths to change are looked at. say i give money every month to a charity that feeds children. in actuality whats being done is me making myself feel better every month about the fact that so many kids need to be fed. and by continuing to be okay with helping the few we disregard the many. me giving money every month does nothing for the reasons children need to be fed. but i rest in the illusion that i am helping kids when in reality, i would be just helping myself.
i use to give value to an illusion as i disregarded the reality of the whole in relation to watching porn. use to fucking love porn. would spend some entire days watching porn. would tell myself, " im not hurting anyone. its just porn. everyone has sex what is the big deal about looking at everyone have sex? watching porn doesnt harm anyone. " even after starting this process of realising myself and taking notice to the things i never cared to take notice to before i was still watching porn. a couple of months ago i told myself, no fucking more. everytime i thought about watching porn i made a point to consider porn as a WHOLE. not just the part in which im naked in front of a computer. so what is porn as a WHOLE? porn, in a word, is abuse. most women do not want to do porn. many of these women came from shity households with people that touched them as young girls or parents that never guided them into realising self worth or beings that never got the opportunity to do anything different or being that developed a 'no other choice' attitude because of the way many of our children are raised or beings that were forced or sold into the business. porn is more than pictures on a computer screen. many young girls around the world are forced to prostitute themselves. some sold by their parents into the abuse for lack of money. i mean, one has to really be without to sell their child to be abused and raped. but this happens. business men fly overseas to purchase little boys for sex. this happens. but all the while this WHOLE of porn was happening i would focus on my "small' part in it. which was getting off in front of a computer as i accepted and allowed abuse. so whenever i wanted to rest in the part id expand my view to the whole and see myself within it. that was it for me and the illusion of porn.
i showed my sister this video of what we do to pigs at pig farms. she didnt want to see it and i kind of forced her to watch it because she was so fearful and resistant. she damn near cried watching how we beat the pig babies and castrate them while they scream in pain and throw the little babies around like garbage bags. now she says that i ruined pork for her and she doesnt want to eat it. we were at chipotle the other day and she didnt get any meat in her food. i asked her why didnt she get meat. she says she still liked chicken but she didnt like the seasoning on chipotles chicken and that it sucked that she didnt like the seasoning on chipotles chicken because their chicken is free range chicken. meaning the chickens are allowed to walk around as they please in open space instead of being contained. meaning my sister would feel better about eating the meat of chipotle chickens because they are free range not seeing that this disregards the fact that we treat chickens, as a WHOLE, like shit. now my sister and many other people i know rest in the illusion that eating or valueing chipotle chicken is actually helping the issue of the abuse of chickens when in reality they are helping themselves to feel better about the abuse. not helping to stop the abuse. not eating meat or a certain type of meat does NOTHING for manifesting respect of animal beings in general. its an attempt to take self out of the equation of collective responsibility. which is impossible.

let us stop resting in comfort within our illusions. lets shake ourselves up. burst these delusional bubbles and let us get real.

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