"it may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. we are like eggs at present. and you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. we must be hatched or go bad. " -c.s. lewis

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


so i am working now. got a job at a call center. doing sales. swindling people into buying things that im sure i can point out a "benefit as it relates to the person", (thats what the pay me to say) but swindling all the same. its all for the sales. its all for the sales check. its all for the money. to assist and support self at the moment requires i have money. welcome to my way. things with the boyfriend are "getting better". i am trying to compromise more. really just compromising myself. i think. goddammit. being at this job is really taking me away from me.i feel kinda bombarded with the world. the slowing down of things is a lot more difficult now having to interact with people like i do. people fucking suck. i fucking suck. working where i do just allows me to again live how shicety and fucked the world is. working at any job is the same way for me...i am not being completely honest with myself lately. i am so confused about what honesty is anymore...and breathing isnt helping.

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