missed a day..

so, i missed a day. sunday. i started my blog 'life for rIFELes' on sunday but did not finish it until today.

this point of "starting my 21 days over" really isnt a big deal. and i mean that to say i have looked at my timekeeper and i see that there was time. i had a little time early in the day that i could have started my blog. i had an hour after work in which i could have moved myself to write my blog that i used to be on facebook reading blogs instead. but point stands that i was aware that i was going somewhere after work and there was the possibility that i would be gone the remainder of the day. and i did not move myself to, well move myself. so i know and see the reason why and where i "missed" a day in the movement i am committing myself to. but i see the movement of myself toward writing as breathing. so i move to keep it moving :)..

life for rIFLEs

i listen to npr often. i enjoy it. they talk about real shit.

ive been hearing lately about this story of a man that was contacted by a prosecutor from his hometown of guatemala with information that he was one of two survivors of a massacre in dos erres that went down many years ago during a civil war within guatemala. now, this made him, oscar, take a step back. as he considered himself having had a great life. his father had died in an accident when he was just 4 years old and he had never met his mother. he was raised by his grandmother and other relatives and he was raised to love and respect and honor his father. the soldier. however, oscar was not the son of a soldier. oscar was actual a kidnapping victim.

the man who oscar loved and revered as 'his father' was actually a "random" lieutenant in the government military. witihin guatemala there was civil war between the government and the guerrillas know as the fuerzas armadas rebeldes (FAR) or rebel armed forces. the dictator in guatemala, efrain rios montt, wanted the guerrillas found and killed. all of them. he had his men go to the small villages that were suspected of hiding the FAR.

after the guerrillas killed a group of government soliders and secured rifles (20 rifles i find our later with research), this was taken as a personal attack to the ego of the dictator. he set out to teach the guerrillas "a lesson" by way of the villagers he was sure were hiding them. he sent a team of skilled killers (these men were in charge of torturing and questioning prisoners and ultimately killing them, hands on killing). they were called the kaibiles, which means ':having the strength and astuteness of two tigers'. their motto is "if i advance, follow me; if i stop, urge me on; if i retreat, kill me."

the kaibiles set on the village in dos erres as they were informed by intelligence that the rifles that were taken were there. they went in dressed to the t as the FAR did. as to set up the blame, for whatever went down, to go towards the guerrillas. they stormed the village at about 2am... they kicked in the doors of all of the families and got them out of their homes. they searched for the rifles but found none. they then split the people up. women and children in the church. men in the school.

a young girl, about 12 years old, was grabbed up and taken a few steps away to a field and raped by lieutenant cesar adan rosales batres who was a very high ranking officer. in front of her family. and as the kaibiles motto states, "if i advance, follow me.." and so they did. the "lower ranking" men were given the go to do the same to any they saw. there were many rapes. all the women and girls were raped and then forced to cook meals and feed their abusers.

the first to die was a child. a baby. a soldier took the baby and threw the baby in a large well that was about 40 feet deep. the soldier did not want to do this. but as the kaibiles motton states, "if i stop, urge me on..." and so they did. the soldiers continued to throw children in to the well.

they began to bring people to the well a bit at a time. they would question them about the rifles and the location of the. the villages protested they knew nothing and cursed the men. they were hit on the head with a hammer and thrown into the well. many still alive. the soldier who was giving this account on npr was asked how many people does he think he brought to the well/to their death. he estimated around 15 people. they asked him, why? why did u continue to bring people to their doom knowing this was not the thing that should be being done. and he said if he had tried to protest, they would have killed them. as the kaibiles motto states, "if i retreat, kill me.." and they would have gladly.

after much time and many murders there were not many villagers left. the soldiers rounded up the women and children that were left. one pregnant, one with her child, two young boys.. the women, at this point, were beside themselves. having witness and been through what they had (rapes, beatings, watching family raped and killed). they scream to the soldiers that they are not animals and they know they are going to be killed and do not want to be taken into the woods to do so. they wanted it to be done right then and there. when the men started to get angry with the women and grab on them, the two boys ran in to the woods. the one crouched behind a tree trunk and sat quiet as they sent shots his way. they then rounded up the women and shot them all. they went to each of them and shot them to make sure they were dead. something they did not do for many within the path of this massacre which continued. they never did find any rifles...

by morning the children wandered back into the village. they were rounded up by the commanders. two young boys (and with research later it seems three young girls as well. they were raped and strangled.). both boys were of mixed race, lighter skin and eyes. one commander, the baker, decided to take the older boy. and the younger boy was taken by oscar's "father". oscar ovidio ramirez ramos. who he, subsequently, renamed oscar at three years old and brought him home to his family and introduced him as his son.

really interesting the way we follow.

follow thoughts..

follow feelings..

follow ideas..

follow others..

follow orders..

follow hearts..

follow directions..

follow fears..

^none of this shit is self. we dont consider that THAT is where the issue lies. that we are not ourselves currently. we have accepted and allowed this illusion of self, of life. all this shit we follow is NOT who we really are. all those soldiers that followed those orders to kill (and even those who enjoyed it) were not moving as themselves. they were moving as orders or fears or generational taught acceptance. many seeds are planted within children that manifest men like the kaibiles.

really interesting interview..

toxic

TRIS PHOSPHATE proven to cause cancer and sterility in animals

POLYBROMINATED DIPHENYL ETHERS proven to damage the reproductive and nervous systems as well as disrupt thyroid function

TETRAKIS-HYDROMETHYL PHOSPHONIUM CHOLORIDA proven to promote the growth of cancerous tumors, damage the liver and skin,and also has been linked to genetic abnormalities..

ORGANOPHOSPHATE INSECTICIDES a neurotoxin proven to cause long term brain damage when presented during a critical stage in develeopment..

LEAD proven to cause head aches, stomach pains and linked to the improper production of red blood cells which limits the bodies ability carry oxygen to organs and other cells..

POLYCHLORINATED BIPHENYLS proven to contain cancer causing chemicals and affect the immune, endocrine and reproductive systems in animal test. we are unsure of how this translates to the human being..

PESTICIDES proven to weaken immune system, a slow poison and also proven to be the death of lots of life --insects, fungus and other small animals-- that was just trying to get a bite of the food supply.

what do all these ^ things have in common??

we have or continue to put these chemicals, and more, in our clothes, in our food, in our drinks in our childrens toys, in our jewelry, in our mattresses, in our computers , in our pots and pans, in our toothpaste , in our dental floss , in our make up , in our phones , in --basically in our bodies.

some of these things are no longer put into our stuff. it isnt because we did not know and now we do so we are changing what we do. no. its because what we were deliberately overlooking/not addressing is now being addressed by someone. and what is, well is. and is not determinate on ones beliefs or delusions of grandeur. so we must present the illusion of care and the "do something". but its interesting because we are not willing to just do. we want to do some thing. to do would mean a complete clean sweep of ALL of our stuff. not just stop the fuckery with some of our stuff. its ALL OUR STUFF. if we allow it with some stuff, we allow it with stuff period. many other countries are making a point to rid chemicals from the production of their goods. the united states, not so much..

every year fire kills tons of people. thousands of people. but the statement that "fire kills tons of people" is true but missing context. its not that fire is just jumping around and killing people. its not that children sleeping are "just" catching on fire. most fires are started by us. whether its someone carelessly falling asleep with a lit cig, not watching what they are cooking, too many plugs in a socket, shitty or neglected wiring (yes,that is still an 'us thing'), shitty or neglected building construction, matches not properly put away, children not properly taught safety....many reason. all our own. with the obvious consideration of wild fires. though our human hand has aided in the adjustment of our natural environment which has led to the circumstance of wild fires as well. we are always at the helm of all that manifest here in existence.

with fire, we think of it as something we need to protect ourselves from. i mean, we have a fire department. no flood (water) department. no tornado (wind) department. no quake (earth) department. but fire is a must. because, with our careless actions and long generational solidified fear of fire, we create the need. so the justification is made, with fire retardants, that it is something we need to protect our children from fire. HA, when in actuality its us (who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become) that we need protection from lest we continue on this path of ignorance.

people say that the incidents of fires have decrease since we decided to start putting fire retardant chemicals into the fabric that we put onto our skin. when in actuality, its NOT THE FIRE RETARDANTS that is the reason for their being less fires. its the attention that is paid towards fires in general. people are paying a bit (very small but needs to be acknowledged) more attention. whether that is fear based or awareness driven,i cannot say for certain. but for THAT reason, incidents of fires have decreased. its always the action of us that is moving here.

there is a book i have heard about called 'non toxic avenger' by deanna duke.

this woman goes into detail of all the chemicals that we knowingly place into our bodies in various ways and the ways in which these things have affected her and her family. as well as documents her walk out of the cycle of living she and her family are use to. she makes a point to stop her family from consuming, wearing and using many things that are actually terrible for the human physical body and its life long development. she tested and rid her home of many childrens toys, jewelry, food items, drinks.. many cool things within the book. the main thing that stuck out to me was how difficult it was for her family to change their cycle. her husband and children, even in their desire to support their mother, had a hard time giving things up and adjusting to "new living". and this "new living" did not cut absolutely all harmful products out. just most of them. so there is still some back door-ish acceptance in there but this is not to judge but to realize that shit doesnt "just" happen. we must walk them into manifestation. whatever they may be. it is understandable that the family would find change difficult. especially to do together. but also shows that with action and determinant movement, we can change anything we want to change. we could make the decision not to put harmful chemicals into our stuff, into our bodies. all it takes is the simple, beautiful decision to act in a way that is best for all life. ..

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER..

for some, "good eating" is not a possibility. hell, eating is not a possibility for many. so the solution is not to purchase organic food or grow ur own garden or purchase this or that. until the only value here - LIFE- is realized, we will continue to value the lie..

careful consideration

species extinction

this point is used very frequently when talking of reasons why we should "get our shit together" as far as our interaction with the environment that gives us breath. we talk of how the natural habitats of many animals are being destroyed due to an inconsiderate human hand. we talk of the thousands of species that needlessly continue to die (go extinct) every year. we talk of saving the animals (with the starting point of 'to save ourselves'. not oneness and equality and mutual respect. but i digress..). we talk of how we are killing many animals here.

i consider this point in relation to ALL life when it comes to extinction and needless death

where this same point that some are fighting for with animals is the same plight that currently faces ALL life (human/animal/insect/plant) here. where we dont give a shit about the habitat of ALL life. where ALL life is being hunted and used up and made to exist no more. where ALL life is dependent on the whims of the reckless human. where ALL life is going extinct due to our inconsiderate actions. we dont broaden this point of extinction to see what it means for all life and what is needed from all movement.

this "rally" that we do for animals that are going extinct is really just apart of this delusional, self destructive cycle we have ourselves in. where in some of us will hunt animals to near extinction, some of us will conduct practices that destroy the one earth we have and some of us will then turn around and display desire to "save" what our actions continue to destroy. much of what we do is just "something to do" so to speak. while we think we are actually doing something different we really just continue to manifest the same shit. we just keep this cycle going.

WE MUST BEGIN TO WALK BACK OUR DECISIONS TO SEE THE STARTING POINT OF THE ACTIONS THAT WE ARE ACCEPTING AND ALLOWING OF OURSELVES..SEE ALL OF WHAT IS IMPLIED BY BEHAVIORS BEFORE ITS PUT INTO ACTION AND CONSEQUENCE IS MANIFESTED.

if someone told u that ur actions were the deciding factor between doing what is best within consideration of all or continuing the current self interested state of movement in the world...how carefully would u consider urs?

we are worried of extinction when there is so much of ourselves that we have yet to discover. much like the ocean and our exploration of it. if the ocean, as ourselves, was a tall glass of water, we would have only taken a sip..

stifling, discouragement and selective assistance

i really enjoy dance :)

self expression in general and in many different forms, but dance in particular. there are so many different ways to explore space and move the human physical form. so its really cool to watch parts of the whole of expression, express themselves :).

there is a show that i have been watching for years called 'so you think you can dance'.

its about dancers that come from all around the world to compete on this show to win a dance contract and of course, some money. throughout the show they dig into many of the peoples lives a bit and give context to the starting point of much of the expression that is being expressed as dance. which is cool.

now there are people who come to audition who many would say "cant dance". dance is really just movement when broken down. and movement is expression and expression is pretty fucking beautiful :)

when people "cannot dance" on this show they are not broken down. i have seen when someone is deliberately acting a fool to get attention from a tv show and they are called out on it. but the people are not made a fool if they are not a technical dancer. there was a dancer who came to audition who commented that he was upset with the way the show acted. he did not like that they enjoyed themselves with people who "couldnt dance" and let them perform their self expression. and that it was in insult to "real dancers". this was obviously the ego of a disconnected being who thought their self expression was in some way above the expression of others. its a shame that we beat one another down in order to build self up. this is not movement. this is not self appreciation. this is chaos.

we toss people aside often. this is a point i noticed within the show 'biggest loser'.

this show capitalizes on the downfall of our collective health as people. it makes weight loss an elitist circle. makes saving the life of an obviously unhealthy body into a game. it first gets many people who are unhealthily over weight together. then it makes these people compete to even be on the show to get what they consider "help that they all need". they make these people compete and apparently whoever "wants it" (< to be on the show ) more will get to get the help.

okay, i understand the importance of self movement and being the will that moves our physical bodies that creates the physical world. i understand that we are use to competition as "the way we move" and "from where we move" for a very long time. i understand that we have built importance and need around our idea of reward/punishment. 'do this good enough, get that. dont do this good enough, dont get that.'

what i dont understand is the fact that we are overlooking the point that ALL these fucking people need help. and it is displayed that we clearly see that ALL these fucking people need help. why not simply HELP ALL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO THEY CAN SUPPORT THEMSELVES PERIOD? make that what this what this whole oopla is about.

and then many people say, "well people would not want to PAY to see someone who could not sing or could not dance or is not being followed around by a camera but losing weight." self expression, enjoyment, happiness, health - we make all thing dependent on money. having it, keeping it, getting it, using it.. the money motivator is one that should be dug unto for ones self to self honestly see what is actually within this point of money. which are seeds of greed and self interest and of course, fear.

to investigate bringing money to a point which reflects a core of oneness and equality and consideration for all life >www.equalmoney.org

..just not enough money

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY PEOPLE!!!

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all beings are able to eat food in order to stay alive once they are born

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all beings have access to clean water to drink

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all students have a way to and from school

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that our definition of 'education' is one that takes all into consideration and is not selective and dependent on money and profit

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all children have access to care givers that give true care

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that we have an adequate number of teachers to teach our youth

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all beings are clothed

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all have access to all the great abundance of resources the earth provides us

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that in our process of life here that we respect all beings

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that the 'within' of each being is taken care of first and foremost because we collectively manifest the 'without'

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all can be trusted with life in every form

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all are guaranteed education not dependent and subject to the profit motives of self interest

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all animals will be treated with the same respect and dignity we would want ourselves extended

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all children born into this world are guaranteed a dignified life

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that we know the importance of self responsibility and a collective oneness within all that is here

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all beings being brought into this world are being brought into a world that is compassionate caring and considerate as a starting point

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO... assure that all beings are able be trusted with life

theres just not enough fucking money?...

this shows that we value money more than life. as we have accepted and allowed and manifested an existence where money dictates whether u live or die- eat or starve- work or beg- can play this game we have made out of life or are played by this game we have made out of life. money is not how we trade and achieve mutual benefit as many hold as a core "purpose" of money. in actuality its action and movement that is the real act of trading to achieve what is best for all. not money. this idea of importance we give money is simply that. and idea. this cotton (money) means so much to us mentally that we have traded life for the glorification of an idea over life. our collective movement is not dependent on valuing money. its dependent on valuing life.

what if these things, which we can all see the collective importance in, were not dependent on money.. if life, not money, was the value from which action and movement was based.. where all do not come into this world striving to capitalize on all others here.. where support is the foundation that will be found at birth til death.. where growth, learning, fun and support all intertwine together..

investigate--> www.equalmoney.org

senate bill 310

i was watching the 'ohio channel' where the ohio house of representatives were discussing senate bill 310. senate bill 310 would regulate the ownership of a list of certain wild animals, monkeys and snakes. there are currently no regulations in ohio and there has been much fear generated from an situation that happened in zanesville ohio NOT practical consideration to do whats best by animals period and people period. a man in zanesville who had acquired many wild animals one day released them all and killed himself. this lead to the "need" to kill these animals as a result because the fear of what these animals would do. so the bill would require that wild animals be recorded, counted and easily located. the bill would also require current wild animals owners to obtain a permit and maintain liability insurance for their animals.

there were people speaking for and against the bill and stating reasons for their decision. one of the speakers who was against the bill listed a reason that stuck out to me.

the reason was that the bill discriminated against the poor.

he said that people without the money to pay for all these regulations that were being imposed by this bill and all the permits that were being required by this bill would not be able to keep their animals.

i found this particularly interesting because if that was a reason to NOT pass a bill then no bill should currently be passed at all. ALL we do and conduct as 'us' here discriminates against the poor. and thats really clear to see.

if u do not have enough money, u do not get to have a roof over ur head.

if u do not have enough money, u do not get to buy food to stay alive.

if u do not have enough money, u do not get access to an education.

if u do not have enough money, u do not get access to clean water.

if u do not have enough money, u do not get the dignified life that those with money are able to have.

we have shaped life, in totality, to discriminate against the poor. and its interesting that this point is not addressed at its core but then we try to use this point as fluff for our reindeer games here. all the while COMPLETELY MISSING what this point actually means coming out of our mouths. this point of money and our equation of it to power and purpose and movement and ability. we have made life dependent on money. and with this we stifle life as money, like all things, is not equal here currently.

the bill passed..

investigate--> www.equalmoney.org